The day of our wedding

I don't know why we celebrate singleness. We have bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, people say "these are your last few days of freedom!" or "enjoy being single!"

This is odd to me. Because really, I feel like God made us to live in a marriage relationship, not in a single one. I know Paul talks about the blessing of those who stay single, which I totally agree with, yet God said that it was not good for man (or woman) to be alone...so He made a partner.

So really, getting married isn't losing being single, it's experience what we were made for from the beginning. It's entering into a full potential of our lives through the relationship that is most important. It's not a loss, it's finally doing it the way it was supposed to be.

If anything, something like divorce is much more of a loss than getting married, becuase that's when the relationship is becoming broken.

They should have divorce showers to mourn the loss of the marriage.

Well...maybe not, that'd be pretty depressing.

Of Course

It started with a pineapple.

One thing I've learned about junior high ministry is that combining two completely random things together can often times not only draw students' interest but also create something very humorous and memorable.

This time it happened to be fruit and sports.

Apple baseball, plum golf, canteloupe bowling, and so on.

So, of course the next logical step was to play pineapple football.

Who knew that something so random could have such a significant affect on the next few days, weeks, and months of a very important season of our lives.

I heard a lot of crunching when my body was smashed like an accordian between my 200 pound best friend and the earth. The first thing I noticed was that the wind was knocked out of me.

I hate that feeling.

Not only because I can't breathe (which I hear is important) but I'm also helpless to look normal as I lay thriving on the ground in front of people.

Once I got oxygen back and tried to get up, I realized something more had happened as the pain in my upper body continued to increase, doubling me over time after time in pain.

While the smart thing to do would have been to go the hospital right away, being the committed junior high pastor that I am, I decided to continue shooting a video in the 50 degree rain. Nothing major, just things like swinging a golf club, tennis racket, and baseball bat.

Later that afternoon, I discover that my collar bone was broken.

My first broken bone of my life...

Two weeks before my wedding...

In the middle of completely re-doing our house...

The day before a Smashup weekend...

A week before the Genesis retreat....

And because of playing football...with a pineapple.

2 weeks in a sling, 2 weeks 'til the bone sets, and 2 weeks before I feel no pain. Nothing strenuous for 6-8 weeks. No golf on the honeymoon. No working out for the 15 days before my wedding (or the next 30 days after). No strength to move my fiancee into our house (or brush my teeth without wincing).

But, I won't have to wear a cast for the wedding, I'll be without pain in time for the wedding, I'm right-handed, and we are incredibly blessed with people to make up for my useless left side.

I look forward to the moment in the future when the purpose of this is revealed to me. Until then, I trust God has a reason for everything and will use this despite my frustration at my own limitations and my lovely fiancée’s devastated tears the moment she found out.

- D

you asked, we'll answer:

our address: 438 Tralee Drive | Rockford, IL | 61107 (if you show up before the wedding, come with a paint brush)

our registries: Pottery Barn, Target, and Macy's

our wedding day: We're getting married at, we think, one of the coolest places. The ceremony will (hopefully) be outside, so dress accordingly! in case of inclement weather, the festivities will still take place at the tree farm (just indoors). [note: the map on the tree farm says to turn onto Bluff Road. It is actually South Bluff Road, so keep an eye out for the "south" when looking for it.

our honeymoon!: We're staying at an amazing bed & breakfast in Estes Park, Colorado. We can't wait!!!

One of my favorite pictures of us...

It's amazing...

It's amazing that after 8 hours of painting

covered in sweat, paint, and dust

having not showered all day

wearing grungy pants and an old t-shirt

and her hair everywhere...

I am still unbelievably attracted to her from across the room.

- D

the most perfect proposal ever.

Clenching in the name of love

So...geez, how do I approach this...? Well, I'm a guy, right? Guys have...bodily functions (to put it delicately) that are apparently functions that woman do not experience. Evidently, the female anatomy, while similar to the man's, doesn't have the same digestive process that ours does. I've seen no proof of this but my lovely fiancee continues to be adamant about it. I'm waiting for the test results from a number of specialists and make sure to update you all.

Anyway, one of these "functions" of mine happens to involve a ommitance of air that is known to, at times, be accompanied by sound(s) and aroma(s). These said aromas rarely, if ever, are pleasant to the sense of smell and often times result in loss of friend or invitations to future parties.

Clearly I love my soon-to-be bride, clearly I want what's best for her, and clearly I never want her to be less than ideally comfortable at any given moment.............however....I find that there is a growing fear in me as our live-together life begins in a few short weeks and I'm faced with the dilemma of causing myself intestinal damage, or assuring that she will sit next to me.

This is not a side of myself I feel necessary to hide from her, but more protect her from.

So, until an over-the-counter solution presents itself to me, I shall from October 18th on, be clenching (and something not) in the name of love.

- D

Culture Let us Down Again

A friend of ours said something the other day that was a major surprise to me. Not necessarily because it made a huge difference in how I am approaching marriage but was just something in contrary to what I've always been used to hearing.

He said: "Dating does not prepare you for marriage." Again, not some earth-shattering revelation but definitely not what I've been hearing from society since I was old enough to be told I was too young to date.

I always thought dating was an experience of learning (apparently by process of elimination or luck) what type of woman I should end up with and then learning how we live life together, all while considering the possibility of doing it forever, barring some major difference or event. It was practicing a marriage relationship for the time when I would enter into the most important one of my life. Or so I thought.

But now my not-really-a-big-deal-at-all dream was shattered and I was left with the new, more truthful perspective on dating.

Not that there's anything wrong with dating necessarily but if more people knew that it wasn't a preparation for marriage, I'm sure many more couples about to be wed would take their pre-martial steps much more seriously knowing that dating was simply the means to find the person, not learn how to love them in marriage.

Marriage is now this completely new animal where all the baggage from past damage from our parents and ex's slowly and suddenly rears it's ugly head to reveal the fact that true love, complimenting each other, marital happiness takes a great deal of work.

This actually makes me look at our dating time with a higher degree of fondness. Now, instead of dating being a less cool version of marriage (aka: marriage without the sex), our dating relationship is something completely on it's own. While it will be wonderful when things change, I find some nostalgia in things like driving home from her house at midnight or arriving and leaving parties in separate cars or talking on the phone while laying in bed or texting as we wake up or remembering things to tell her when I see her next.

We'll never have those things again. What's replacing them I'm very excited about but I still feel a new sense of joy when looking back at our dating season. Maybe in part because it's the last one either of us will ever have.

- D